Tuesday SOL 9/20/16 - Challenges of our After School Mentoring Program
Last week S came to us along with her two older brothers (7th and 10th grade), because Mom wasn't sure that S could handle being with us alone. Some anxiety issues, some ADD issues, some other issues that I'm still not sure of. I encouraged her to join in the game the others were playing - she did so reluctantly. Then Mom & Dad showed up. We talked with them, found out some of the issues, told them they could stay with her during mentoring or sit in the Youth Room. They opted to sit in the Youth Room.
Since we don't have enough mentors for one-to-one, I placed S with B. The mentor was a former teacher and I knew that she could manage both (or at least I hoped). My job as leader is to check to make sure the mentors are able to handle the students they have. S was having a difficult time, so I decided to take her for a while. She has trouble with math and reading. So we worked with some multiplication flash cards. Challenging for her (and me). I tried using visuals, but she didn't want any of that. We talked about addition and multiplication. I tried to talk about other things too, but....
After 10 minutes or so, one of the mentors who had been working with a jr. high student, asked if her student could work with the kids. So I thought that maybe she could help S. A few minutes later the mentor came to me and said that S totally shut down. So I went to find Mom & Dad to see if they could/would help. Mom sent Dad. I was beginning to get the picture of some of the other issues that S is coping with. We worked a while longer and then it was time for dinner.
In hind sight, I should have taken her for a walk and talked about likes and dislikes. I think too that she had worked with too many of us and her anxiety kicked in. It's a learning experience for all of us.
I asked Michelle for some pointers of what we can do to help S. She gave me some tips, but if anyone else has some thoughts, I'd appreciate hearing them.
Sometimes, it helps to confront anxiety! I had a handful of kiddos with debilitating anxiety in my class last year. I would pull them aside, ask them what was causing them stress- we'd list it all on the paper. Then, we'd rate the stresses on a scale of 1-10. (1= a little deal, 10= world ending apocalypse.) This helped to get the rapport going; after a while I could just say, "how big is it?" If her stress was bigger than a 5, we would process it. If not, she would take a water break and get back to work. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteI think your reflection that you should have removed her from the situation and engaged her in an informal chat about her likes and dislikes was a good one. It sounds to me like this student was feeling anxious at being so controlled, with so many people keeping constant tabs on her. Giving her the opportunity to feel special as a person, not just as a student, by chatting and then empower her by asking her to suggest areas of school life where she may want some help, either with schoolwork or relationships or self-esteem might help (and I'd encourage the family to give her some space for these sessions, to allow her to open up and build self-esteem).
ReplyDeleteSounds like it was a earning experience for all involved, I agree that talking to her might be the way to go. Making her an active part of her learning experience might lessen her anxiety.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I get super anxious when everyone keeps checking in with me in a new situation. Maybe next time she can draw or color and decide when/if to join the group?
ReplyDeleteThis program sounds amazing for the kiddos - glad you get to be part of it!